August 28, 2023 by Mike Dirsa

Growing up in Northern Alberta, I thought hockey players were 10-feet tall and bulletproof. I thought nothing phased them, and they could withstand several punches to the head. Stepping in front of a slap shot that is whistling in the air well over the posted speed limit in town like it’s no big deal. But as got older, I realized that this way of thinking was wrong. The truth is hockey players are not indestructible just because they play a physical, sometimes violent game.

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of speaking to former Edmonton Oilers player Rob Schremp on the 97 Octane Hockey podcast. As I was doing some research on Schremp, I discovered that he took on the role of the dressing room jokester and prankster. The 37-year-old confessed that he did this as a coping mechanism to deal with the pressure to perform and to mask his depression, stress, and anxiety.

As I dug deeper into it, I came across a very moving interview for Same Here Global with Schremp, where he opened up about his internal battles.

For many, there is a lot of shame that comes with depression. Shame that you are not strong enough to keep these feelings at bay. For me, shame that I could bring myself to be so low that I literally loaded a gun, placed it to my head, and pulled the trigger. I will forever be grateful that I had zero clue how to use a firearm as a kid. Luckily for me, I didn’t know how to take the safety off, or I wouldn’t be here sharing this message with all of you. For the loved ones who would have found what that bullet could have done, their lives would never have been the same. I made the wrong choice that night and actually pulled the trigger. The inner battle was so intense: ‘Just pull the trigger you fucking pussy. Do it. No one wants you around here anyways.’ When the gun didn’t fire, I had the biggest sigh of relief, got far away from the trigger, and just cried. I have no idea why I was actually sitting at the edge of a bed with a gun to my head, but when I snapped out it, I became instantly ashamed of the whole situation. I was still on this earth, and very relieved, yet even then my inner demon would repeatedly say: ‘Couldn’t do it, eh bud.’ Well…I walk past this demon every day and now when I walk past him, I give him a nice subtle, ‘FUCK YOU’ over my shoulder.

– Rob Schremp, Same Here Celebs Alliance Profile

This admission from Rob hit me on a personal level because in my twenties I was in the middle of a separation and was thinking I failed my sons as a father because I couldn’t make my marriage work with their mom. I was driving to a Rec Hockey game and was timing the distance between telephone poles at 100 mph, and I was going to end my life by driving my F-150 into one. If I didn’t call my mom that night, I wouldn’t be here either.

When I read Schremp’s story, I felt it was necessary to thank him for having the courage to share his battle so that other people will know they are not alone in their struggles, and they too can get through them. Hopefully his story will inspire people to be more open and honest about their own mental health challenges, and to seek professional help when they need it. I think it’s important to tear down that false façade of hockey players being invincible, so everyone knows hockey players are human beings and go through real life struggles.

Depression, stress, and anxiety are apathetic to where a person is drafted, to what their salary is, or to how good their life appears to be from the outside. At the 41:17 mark I thanked Schremp for having the courage to share his story.

What I learned from this experience is that hockey players are people, too. They have emotions, struggles, and stories that we may not be aware of. As fans, we often focus on the results, and forget the human side of the game. I want to be more empathetic and attentive to others, and not judge them by their performance alone.